Key message: Ocnos Psychology Clinic delivered a session for families and volunteers from the Agnes Baden-Powell Scout Group on observing children’s behaviour, supporting their emotions and recognising when a temporary difficulty may be developing into a pattern that deserves closer attention.
On Sunday 12 July 2026, the team from Ocnos Psychology Clinic took part in a session for families and volunteers from the Agnes Baden-Powell Scout Group. The event combined psychological guidance, educational experience and an open discussion about situations that may arise during childhood, group activities and a child’s first nights away from home.
The talk was delivered by Héctor Lozano Jiménez, Rocío Rodríguez Boza and María Ángeles Sanz Ruiz, professionals from Ocnos Psychology Clinic. They were joined by Valle Melgar, who is responsible for the Scout Group and who explained its educational project, values and the voluntary work that makes its activities possible.
From the beginning, one essential point was made clear: the purpose was not to teach families how to diagnose children or to search for a label for every behaviour. The aim was to offer simple criteria for observing more calmly, describing what was happening more accurately and deciding when support was enough, when closer attention might be needed and when professional guidance could be helpful.
Understanding children before labelling them
Children have tantrums, feel afraid, become frustrated, sleep badly on some nights, remain quiet around new people or need time to adapt to a group. Many of these reactions form part of normal development and do not require psychological intervention.
However, the same behaviour may take on a different meaning when it becomes frequent, increases in intensity, lasts for a long time or begins to restrict everyday life. During the session, families were therefore encouraged to replace broad descriptions such as “he is impossible”, “she is very disobedient” or “he always behaves badly” with more precise observations.
Describing a behaviour does not mean excusing it. It means gathering the information needed to understand what may be happening and decide which response is most likely to help.
Saying that a child “behaves terribly whenever they lose” provides very little useful information. It is more helpful to observe that “when the child loses a group game, they shout, leave the activity and need around twenty minutes to settle again”. This description makes it possible to consider the context, the intensity of the reaction and the skills that the child may still need to develop.
Five criteria for observing children’s behaviour
Age and developmental stage are also essential. We cannot expect the same ability to understand a rule, wait patiently or regulate an emotion from a five-year-old and a fifteen-year-old. Careful observation means considering what is appropriate for the child’s stage of development and avoiding expectations they are not yet ready to meet.
The traffic-light system: observe, support or seek help
As a practical reminder, a traffic-light system was introduced. It is not a diagnostic tool, but a straightforward way of organising an adult’s response to a concerning behaviour.
The behaviour is occasional, appropriate for the child’s age and has little impact. Calm support and continued observation may be enough.
The signs have continued for several weeks or are beginning to limit the child. It may help to ask questions, coordinate between adults and introduce practical support.
There is intense distress, clear deterioration, loss of previously acquired skills or a safety concern. Professional assessment should be requested.
Contributions from Héctor, Rocío and María Ángeles
Although the session followed a shared theme, each psychologist addressed a different aspect of supporting children. This made it possible to combine behavioural observation, emotional regulation, sleep, learning, communication and practical adaptations.
Héctor: moving from labels to descriptions
Héctor opened the session by explaining why one behaviour should not be used to define a child. His contribution focused on frequency, intensity, duration, interference and context, as well as the traffic-light system for deciding what to do next.
He also emphasised that asking for advice does not mean labelling a child. Just as a family may seek medical advice about a physical symptom, they can request psychological guidance when something concerns them, even if the eventual conclusion is that the behaviour forms part of a normal developmental stage.
Read Héctor Lozano’s professional profile
Rocío: validate, ask and support
Rocío explained that children are not always able to say that they feel anxious, overwhelmed, disappointed or frightened. Emotional distress may instead appear through irritability, tantrums, becoming stuck, avoidance, dependence on an adult or physical complaints such as stomach aches.
She introduced three straightforward steps: validate, ask and support. Validation means acknowledging that the emotion is real, even when a behavioural limit still needs to be maintained. Asking gives the child space to explain their experience. Supporting means helping them take the next step without doing everything on their behalf.
Rocío also discussed sleep as an important indicator of children’s wellbeing. The group talked about nightmares, night terrors, fear of sleeping away from home and difficulties that may arise during a first camp. The main recommendation was to observe frequency, context and daytime consequences rather than becoming alarmed simply because an experience appears dramatic.
Read Rocío Rodríguez’s professional profile
María Ángeles: identifying which skill may be missing
María Ángeles encouraged families to look beyond apparent disobedience. A child may fail to follow an instruction because they have not understood it, cannot remember all the steps or become lost halfway through. Similarly, a child may avoid a physical game because they feel clumsy, fear making a mistake or believe that the other children are more capable.
Her contribution focused on language, comprehension, coordination, attention, flexibility and social skills. Practical suggestions included dividing instructions into smaller steps, preparing children for changes, avoiding public correction, reinforcing effort and sharing relevant information between the adults supporting the child.
Adapting does not mean overprotecting. It means building a staircase that allows the child to participate, learn and develop independence gradually.
Read María Ángeles Sanz’s professional profileA discussion with families and Scout volunteers
After the presentations, families and volunteers were invited to ask questions. The discussion included sleep during camps, night-time waking, fear of staying away from home, calls to parents and ways to support a child who asks to leave an activity during the night.
The group also discussed video games, conversations with strangers and online safety. The shared approach was to avoid both unexplained prohibition and excessive alarm. Children need clear boundaries, supervision appropriate to their age and enough trust to tell an adult when somebody asks uncomfortable questions, requests photographs or refuses to respect their wish to end a conversation.
This exchange was particularly valuable because Scout leaders observe children in a different context from home and school. Their perspective may provide important information about independence, living alongside others, tolerance of frustration, participation in a group and adaptation to new experiences.
Free resources for observing without diagnosing
A summary sheet was used during the session to organise the main ideas. At the end of the event, families and volunteers also received a longer guide and a calm observation worksheet. Both documents are available free of charge to any family that may find them useful.
Download the resources from the session
The documents help families organise what they observe without using quick labels. They include signs across different areas, guidance on emotional support, sleep information, examples of helpful phrases and a worksheet for recording what happens, when it began and where it occurs.
Session summary sheet
A concise document covering the key question, observation criteria, the traffic-light system and examples for different age groups.
Download the summary sheetFamily guide and observation worksheet
A longer guide covering behaviour, anxiety, sleep, language, motor skills, flexibility, mood and calm observation.
Download the guide and worksheetThese resources are currently available in Spanish and are intended for general information and guidance. They do not replace an individual psychological, medical or educational assessment when difficulties persist, cause significant distress or involve a safety concern.
Getting to know the Agnes Baden-Powell Scout Group
The event also provided an opportunity to learn more about the work of the Agnes Baden-Powell Scout Group. Valle Melgar explained that its approach is based on learning through action: children and young people learn by taking part, cooperating, caring for their surroundings and accepting responsibilities suited to their age.
The group follows a progressive educational programme across different age sections. Younger children work on values such as sharing and living alongside others. As they grow, they develop greater independence, take on more responsibility within the group and participate in community service projects.
Its long-term aim is to help children and young people become independent, supportive adults who are committed to their communities.
The group hopes to continue growing, open additional age sections and welcome both new families and adults interested in volunteering. Its work combines outdoor activities, education in values, inclusion and community service.
Psychology, education and community
The work of a psychology clinic does not necessarily end inside the consulting room. Prevention, responsible mental health education and collaboration with local organisations can also help create environments that are more responsive to children’s needs.
The purpose of the Ocnos session was not to turn parents or Scout volunteers into mental health professionals. It was to help them observe more clearly, reduce rushed interpretations and recognise when a child may benefit from additional support.
The work of the Agnes Baden-Powell Scout Group also demonstrates the value of giving children and young people spaces in which they can live alongside others, accept responsibility, develop independence and feel that they belong. Communication between families, educators, volunteers and health professionals can make an important difference when a child is struggling.
Ocnos Psychology Clinic would like to thank Valle Melgar, the Scout volunteers and all the families who attended for their welcome, questions and willingness to take part in the discussion. We also recognise the work involved in sustaining an inclusive community project focused on participation, personal development and support for children.
Observing calmly is also a way of caring
When a child’s behaviour becomes frequent, causes distress or begins to interfere with sleep, learning, play or relationships, professional guidance may help the family understand what is happening and identify the most appropriate support.