You Do Not Have to Choose Who You Will Be Forever: Héctor Lozano’s Careers Week Talk at Prior Park Gibraltar

Héctor Lozano Jiménez, General Health Psychologist and Director of Ocnos Psychology Clinic, was invited to Prior Park School Gibraltar during Careers Week to speak with students about careers, identity and the pressure of choosing a future too early.

The talk, titled “You do not have to choose who you will be forever”, offered students a calm and realistic message: choosing a career path is not the same as choosing a fixed identity for the rest of your life. Instead, it can be understood as choosing a first direction, learning from it, adapting over time and allowing your professional story to keep developing.

We would like to thank Carmen Robles, the teacher who organised the activity, for welcoming Héctor and making this Careers Week session possible. For Ocnos Psychology Clinic, taking part in educational conversations in Gibraltar and Campo de Gibraltar is deeply meaningful, because many young people experience the future not only as an opportunity, but also as a source of pressure, comparison and anxiety.

Although the session was part of a school careers programme, its message reaches beyond one classroom. It speaks to students who feel they should already have everything decided, to parents who worry about their children’s choices, and to adults who may still be trying to understand whether their own professional path “makes sense”.

A different way to think about career choices

One of the starting points of the talk was a question almost every young person hears at some point: “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

At first, it sounds innocent. It is often asked with affection and curiosity. However, from a psychological point of view, the question can carry hidden pressure. It can suggest that a student must choose only one thing, know it early and avoid getting it wrong. For a teenager who is still discovering their interests, values, strengths and fears, that can feel like a very heavy task.

Therefore, Héctor invited students to challenge the question. Perhaps the real question is not “What will you be forever?”, but rather: What direction would you like to explore first? What are you curious about? What kind of problems do you want to learn how to solve? What skills would you like to develop, even if you are not yet sure where they will take you?

This distinction matters. A young person is not choosing a professional prison. They are choosing a first direction. And directions can change, become clearer, expand or lead to unexpected places.

Why career decisions can feel so stressful for students

Career decisions often arrive at a moment when identity is still under construction. During adolescence and early adulthood, students are not simply choosing subjects or university options. They are also trying to answer deeper questions: Who am I? What am I good at? Will I disappoint others? What if I choose wrong? What if I am not enough?

In this context, careers education is not only practical; it is also emotional. A subject choice may seem simple from the outside, but for a student it can become linked to fear of failure, family expectations, comparison with friends, financial worries or a belief that one mistake could close every door.

That is why the tone of the message matters. Telling students that they must “find their passion” can sometimes add more pressure. Not everyone has one clear passion at fifteen, sixteen or seventeen. Some people have several interests. Others discover their motivation slowly. Some understand what they want only after experiencing what does not fit.

A more helpful approach is to encourage exploration with responsibility. Students can take their choices seriously without treating them as irreversible. They can research, ask questions, try things, reflect and adjust. This does not make them indecisive; it makes them human.

From architecture to teaching to psychology: one story, different seasons

A central part of the talk was Héctor’s own professional story. Before becoming a General Health Psychologist and Director of Ocnos Psychology Clinic, his path included architecture and teaching. From the outside, these areas may look very different. However, when viewed carefully, they are connected by deeper themes: structure, communication, curiosity, problem-solving and working with people.

Héctor used a metaphor that many students could understand easily: some lives are not ladders; they are series.

In a series, each season may have a different setting, new characters and different conflicts. Nevertheless, the protagonist remains recognisable, and certain themes continue to appear. In the same way, a professional life may include different chapters while still being one coherent story.

Architecture, teaching and psychology are not separate lives in this story. They are different ways of working with complexity, people and change. This is an important message for students: a path does not need to look perfectly logical from the beginning. Sometimes it only becomes clear when you look backwards.

A professional life can have several seasons and still be one story.

Transferable skills: the tools that travel with you

One of the most practical ideas in the talk was the importance of transferable skills. These are skills that can travel with a person across different studies, jobs, countries and professional stages.

People sometimes call them “soft skills”, but Héctor challenged that expression. Communication is not soft when you need to explain something difficult. Flexibility is not soft when a plan collapses. Teamwork is not soft when people disagree and still need to move forward. Problem-solving is not soft when someone is stuck and needs a way through.

These skills are not decorative. They are survival skills.

For students, this can be liberating. Even if they later change direction, the skills they develop now are not wasted. The subject may change, the job title may change, and the setting may change, but many skills will continue to travel with them.

This is especially relevant for young people who feel anxious because they are not completely sure what they want to do. Instead of seeing uncertainty as a failure, they can ask: What skills can I build now that will give me more freedom later?

Having many interests is not automatically a defect

Another important part of the talk addressed a common fear: what if having several interests means I am scattered? What if I am a “jack of all trades, master of none”?

There is some truth in the need for discipline. Having many interests is not enough by itself. Depth, effort and commitment still matter. However, it is also too simplistic to assume that a person with different interests lacks seriousness.

Sometimes, the person who has moved between fields is not lost. They may be collecting tools. They may be learning different languages of work. They may be developing the ability to connect worlds that other people keep separate.

For example, someone who has studied science and later becomes a teacher may explain complex ideas more clearly. Someone with artistic interests and psychological training may notice emotional nuance. Someone with experience in business and therapy may understand workplace stress from more than one angle.

In other words, variety can create perspective. And perspective is also a form of intelligence.

This does not mean every change is easy or every transition is painless. Each professional season leaves learning, tools and, sometimes, scars. However, the next season does not start from zero. Previous experiences can become part of the person’s professional voice.

What if I choose wrong?

This is perhaps the silent question behind many career conversations. Students may not always say it out loud, but many carry it: What if I choose wrong?

A psychologically helpful answer must be both reassuring and realistic. Yes, choices matter. It would be dishonest to say that every decision is irrelevant. Some choices open certain doors and make other routes less immediate. However, it is also unhelpful to teach young people that one decision will define their entire identity forever.

Héctor’s message was clear: students are choosing a next step, not their whole self. They will never have perfect information before choosing. Sometimes they will learn by trying. Sometimes they will discover what fits by noticing what does not. Sometimes a change of direction will not be a breakdown, but a response to new information.

Changing direction is not always failing. Sometimes it means that you have learned something important about yourself and the world.

That said, students can reduce unnecessary confusion by investigating the real day-to-day life of a profession. Liking a subject is not exactly the same as liking the job connected to it. A person may enjoy biology but not want the routine of a particular health profession. Someone may love art but not want the uncertainty of a freelance creative career. Another student may enjoy psychology as a subject but need to understand what clinical work actually involves.

Therefore, a good careers question is not only “What subject do I like?” but also: What kind of problems do I want to solve on a normal Tuesday morning?

Choose from curiosity, not only fear

Fear often asks for certainty. It wants guarantees, a safe route, a perfect answer and a promise that nothing will go wrong. Unfortunately, life rarely offers that level of certainty.

Curiosity works differently. Curiosity does not deny risk, but it opens movement. It asks: What could I learn here? What attracts my attention? What kind of person do I become when I engage with this subject, this environment or this challenge?

For students, choosing from curiosity does not mean being careless. It means not allowing fear to be the only voice in the room. A choice made only from fear may look safe at first, yet it can sometimes lead to disengagement, resentment or emotional exhaustion. A choice informed by curiosity, values and realistic research is more likely to support growth.

This is also relevant for parents. Understandably, many parents want their children to be safe, employable and stable. However, when conversations about the future are driven only by fear, young people may feel controlled rather than supported.

A more helpful approach is to ask open questions: What interests you about that? What have you found out about the real profession? What skills would you need? What worries you? What would be a sensible first step?

These conversations can reduce anxiety because they move the focus from prediction to exploration.

You are more than your career

One of the most human parts of the talk was the reminder that a person is more than their career. Work matters. It can provide meaning, independence, structure, identity, relationships and a sense of contribution. Nevertheless, it should not become the whole definition of a person.

Students are not only their grades. They are not only their university choices. They are not only their future salary, their job title or other people’s expectations. They are people with values, relationships, contradictions, interests, fears and the capacity to change.

This matters because career pressure can sometimes become identity pressure. A young person may feel that if they do not know what to do, they do not know who they are. From a psychological perspective, this can increase anxiety and self-criticism. It can also make students avoid decisions altogether, because every option feels too big.

A gentler and more useful approach is to separate the person from the choice. A career can express part of who someone is, but it should not imprison all of who they are.

Five ideas students can take from the talk

To close the session, Héctor shared five ideas that are worth remembering, especially for students who feel pressured to have their whole life planned too early.

1. You do not need your whole life decided now

A serious choice does not need to be a permanent identity. Take the next step honestly, with the information you have now, and remain open to learning more.

2. Choose from curiosity, not only fear

Fear tries to avoid mistakes, but curiosity helps you explore. A good decision can include caution, but it should not be built only around anxiety.

3. Investigate the real profession

A career is not just a subject you like. It is a daily reality with tasks, people, routines, pressures and responsibilities. Ask professionals what their work actually looks like.

4. Develop transferable skills

Communication, organisation, flexibility, teamwork and problem-solving will be useful in many possible futures. These skills increase freedom because they are not tied to one single path.

5. Your path may only make sense when you look backwards

Not every story looks organised at the beginning. Sometimes coherence appears later, when you can see what each stage taught you.

You are allowed to be more than one thing.

The presentation: key slides from the Careers Week talk

Below you can view the 11 slides from Héctor Lozano’s presentation at Prior Park School Gibraltar. Together, they summarise the main message of the talk: choosing a career is not about locking yourself into one identity forever, but about learning how to choose, adapt and keep becoming.

Ocnos Psychology Clinic, Gibraltar and educational wellbeing

At Ocnos Psychology Clinic, based in Palmones and working with people across Campo de Gibraltar and Gibraltar, we often see how future-related pressure can affect emotional wellbeing. For some young people, uncertainty about studies, exams or career choices can contribute to stress, avoidance, low confidence or anxiety. For families, it can create tension between wanting to guide and not wanting to overwhelm.

Psychology does not give students a magic answer about what career to choose. However, it can help them understand their fears, values, strengths, patterns of avoidance and ways of making decisions. It can also help families communicate with less pressure and more clarity.

Our work includes support for people experiencing anxiety, emotional blocks, self-doubt, stress and decision-making difficulties. We also offer psychological assessment when a more detailed understanding of a person’s cognitive, emotional or behavioural profile is needed.

For those who live outside the immediate area or prefer remote support, online therapy can also be an option. In addition, our page for a psychologist in Gibraltar provides more information for people looking for English-speaking psychological support near Gibraltar and Campo de Gibraltar.

A thank you to Prior Park Gibraltar

We would like to thank Prior Park School Gibraltar for welcoming Héctor Lozano during Careers Week, and especially Carmen Robles for organising the activity. It was a privilege to share this reflection with students at a stage of life where the future can feel both exciting and intimidating.

The message of the talk was simple, but important: you do not have to choose who you will be forever. You are allowed to choose, adapt and keep becoming yourself.

For schools, organisations or teams interested in talks related to psychology, emotional wellbeing, communication, stress or decision-making, more information is available through our psychology for organisations page.

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