Key message: the butterfly hug for anxiety can be used as a brief grounding and emotional regulation exercise. However, it is not a cure, it does not replace psychological therapy and it is not the same as carrying out EMDR on your own.
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The butterfly hug for anxiety is a simple exercise in which you cross your arms over your chest and use gentle alternating taps. Some people use it when they feel nervous, tense, emotionally overwhelmed or unable to slow down their thoughts.
At first, it may appear to be no more than a self-soothing gesture. However, it combines several potentially useful elements: a stable posture, predictable physical contact, attention to rhythm and alternating stimulation on both sides of the body.
Nevertheless, a technique being popular does not mean that we should attribute effects to it that research has not yet demonstrated. From my perspective as a psychologist, it is more useful to explain what it may offer, how to practise it safely and where its limitations lie.
Quick answer: to do the butterfly hug, cross your arms over your chest, place each hand below the opposite collarbone and tap gently from side to side: left, right, left, right. Continue at a comfortable pace for a few seconds while noticing your breathing, your body and the room around you.
What is the butterfly hug for anxiety?
The butterfly hug is a form of self-administered bilateral tactile stimulation. In other words, the person creates an alternating stimulus on the left and right sides of the body by using gentle taps.
The exercise became known through group interventions connected with trauma and the EMDR approach. Over time, it also began to be used as a stabilisation and self-regulation resource during periods of emotional distress.
It is called the butterfly hug because the crossed position of the arms and the alternating movement of the hands can resemble the wings of a butterfly.
You do not need to bring a traumatic memory to mind in order to practise it. In fact, when using the exercise without professional guidance, it is generally better to treat it as a grounding and regulation technique rather than as a way of deliberately confronting painful memories.
How to do the butterfly hug step by step
Begin in a position that feels reasonably stable. You can sit with both feet on the floor, remain standing or lean back slightly, provided that the position does not increase dizziness or a sense of disconnection.
Check whether you are experiencing anxiety, pressure in your chest, restlessness, racing thoughts or muscle tension. You do not need to analyse everything. Simply recognise that you feel activated.
Bring your right hand towards the upper-left side of your chest and your left hand towards the upper-right side.
Keep your hands open and relaxed. You can also position them slightly closer to your shoulders if that feels more comfortable.
Tap gently with one hand and then the other: left, right, left, right. The contact should be noticeable, but it should not be forceful or painful.
There is no perfect speed. Some people prefer a slow rhythm, while others feel more comfortable with slightly quicker alternating taps.
Notice your feet against the floor, the support behind your back, sounds in the room or the natural movement of your breathing.
After 20 or 30 seconds, stop. Ask yourself whether you feel the same, slightly calmer or more uncomfortable. Your response will help you decide whether to continue.
You do not need to close your eyes. If closing them makes you feel vulnerable, dizzy or disconnected, keep them open and focus on a stable object in the room.
How long should you practise the butterfly hug?
There is no universal duration. To begin with, 20 to 30 seconds may be enough. Afterwards, pause and notice what is happening.
If the experience feels neutral or helpful, you can repeat several short rounds. You do not need to continue for several minutes or wait until the anxiety has disappeared completely.
In emotional regulation, more is not always better. The aim is to offer the nervous system a manageable and predictable experience, rather than forcing yourself to calm down.
When might the butterfly hug for anxiety be useful?
The technique may be helpful as a short-term support during mild or moderate emotional activation. For example, it may be used before a difficult conversation, after an argument or when you need a brief pause from repetitive thinking.
Before a demanding situation
It may help you slow down before a meeting, interview, medical appointment or presentation.
When thoughts become repetitive
The alternating rhythm can provide a specific focus while you notice thoughts without trying to solve every one of them.
After an argument
It may create a pause before you respond impulsively or return to a conversation while still highly activated.
At the end of a stressful day
It may help mark the transition between accumulated stress and a period of rest or recovery.
Using the butterfly hug for anxiety at night
At night, once many of the day's distractions have disappeared, some people notice an increase in worry, memories or internal conversations. The body may be tired while the mind continues to move at considerable speed.
The butterfly hug can be included within a simple evening routine. You might sit down, place your feet on the floor, practise a short round of tapping and notice how you feel. Afterwards, you can continue with comfortable breathing, softer lighting or another quiet activity.
However, it should not become another rule such as, “I must do this perfectly or I will not sleep”. That kind of pressure can increase vigilance and effort.
When the main difficulty is that your mind will not switch off at night , it may also be necessary to examine sleeping habits, worry patterns and the way in which you respond to unwanted thoughts.
What does science say about the butterfly hug?
This is the area in which precision matters most. Research into the butterfly hug as an independent treatment for anxiety remains limited. Most available research concerns bilateral stimulation as part of broader therapeutic protocols, particularly EMDR.
There are not currently enough high-quality clinical trials to conclude that the exercise, by itself, treats an anxiety disorder or produces lasting clinical change.
Organisations including the World Health Organization and NICE recognise EMDR as an intervention used for post-traumatic stress disorder within a structured treatment delivered by appropriately trained professionals.
One researched explanation suggests that holding an image or thought in mind while completing another task may temporarily reduce its vividness or emotional intensity.
It is not accurate to claim that the exercise works by magically activating, balancing or synchronising the two halves of the brain. This explanation oversimplifies how the brain functions.
Therefore, the most responsible conclusion is that the butterfly hug may feel helpful to some people as a regulation tool, but current evidence does not support presenting it as an independent treatment for anxiety.
Furthermore, the fact that EMDR has evidence for some trauma-related difficulties does not mean that every form of tapping has the same effectiveness. EMDR includes assessment, preparation, treatment planning, processing, closure and follow-up.
How might the butterfly hug regulate distress?
Although the exact mechanisms are not fully understood, several psychological explanations are plausible.
1. It provides a predictable stimulus
When anxiety rises, attention may move rapidly between physical sensations, possible threats and worrying thoughts. A gentle and predictable rhythm can provide a more stable point of reference.
2. It encourages dual attention
You may notice part of the distress while also remaining aware of your body, the tapping rhythm and the environment. Consequently, the emotional experience may no longer occupy your entire field of attention.
3. It interrupts automatic escalation
The physical movement introduces a pause. It does not remove the problem, but it may create a few seconds between an emotion and an impulsive response.
4. It can communicate self-care
The position of the arms and the contact of the hands may feel supportive. Nevertheless, not everyone experiences physical contact in the same way.
5. It helps you notice what is happening in your body
Rather than fighting every sensation, you can observe whether the pressure changes, whether your breathing shifts or whether you need to stop.
The butterfly hug is not the same as EMDR therapy
The butterfly hug as an exercise
- It can be practised briefly.
- It may be used for grounding or regulation.
- It does not require recalling trauma.
- It does not include a full clinical assessment.
- It is not a complete treatment by itself.
Complete EMDR therapy
- It forms part of a structured intervention.
- It includes assessment, preparation and planning.
- It works with specific therapeutic targets.
- It must be adapted to the person's stability.
- It is delivered by a trained professional.
Trying to process intense traumatic memories on your own may increase emotional activation, intrusive images or a sense of disconnection. Therefore, the purpose of this article is not to teach people to carry out EMDR without support, but to explain a regulation exercise safely.
When should you stop the exercise?
No technique is suitable for every person or every situation. Stop practising if you notice that your distress is clearly increasing.
Stop and reconnect with your surroundings if you experience:
- An increasing sense of disconnection or unreality.
- Dizziness, freezing or difficulty orientating yourself.
- Very intense traumatic memories.
- Greater pressure in your chest or a feeling of being trapped.
- An urge to tap increasingly hard.
- Distress that continues to rise rather than stabilising.
Open your eyes, rest your hands, look around the room and name several objects that you can see. You can also stand up, drink some water or contact someone you trust.
Who should take particular care?
Greater caution may be needed when there is a history of complex trauma, dissociation, severe panic attacks, frequent intrusive memories or discomfort with physical touch.
This does not necessarily mean that the exercise is prohibited. Instead, it may be better to learn it with professional guidance, adapt the hand position or choose another grounding method.
For example, someone who dislikes crossing their arms might alternate gentle pressure through their feet or tap their thighs, provided that the experience remains comfortable and manageable.
Practical examples from a psychologist’s perspective
In therapy, I do not present exercises like this as automatic solutions. First, I try to understand what function the anxiety is serving and what is happening around it.
Before a difficult conversation
A person knows that they need to set a boundary, but they notice a racing heart, tension and a fear of going blank. They might practise two short rounds of the butterfly hug and then return to the main message they want to communicate.
After receiving unexpected news
The person is physically safe but feels overwhelmed. The exercise may help them remain in the present for a few moments before deciding whom to call or what they need to do next.
When worry becomes repetitive
Instead of mentally answering the same question repeatedly, the person may recognise, “My mind is looking for certainty”. They then use the alternating rhythm as a pause before returning to a specific activity.
After an emotionally intense therapy session
When clinically appropriate, the exercise may be used as part of the closing stage of a session. The aim is not to erase what has been discussed, but to help the person regain enough stability before leaving.
Common mistakes to avoid
- Tapping too hard: the contact should be gentle and should not cause pain.
- Using it compulsively: it should not become something you feel you must repeat continuously in order to remain safe.
- Demanding immediate calm: you may notice only a small difference, or no difference at all.
- Deliberately searching for traumatic memories: trauma processing requires assessment and appropriate support.
- Using it to avoid every emotion: regulation does not mean escaping all uncomfortable feelings.
- Using it instead of professional support: a short technique does not address all the factors that maintain anxiety.
How to combine it with other psychological tools
The butterfly hug is more useful when it forms part of a broader range of coping skills. Different situations require different responses.
You might combine it with sensory grounding, comfortable breathing, movement, rest, brief writing or identifying unhelpful thinking patterns. It may also complement mindfulness used responsibly within psychology .
In addition, learning what thoughts are and how we can relate to them can help you avoid treating every anxious thought as evidence of genuine danger.
If you are unsure whether your experiences are related to anxiety, the Ocnos online anxiety test may provide an initial indication. It does not replace a psychological assessment, but it may help you organise and reflect on your symptoms.
When anxiety needs more than a self-help technique
It may be helpful to seek professional support when anxiety keeps returning, influences major decisions, disrupts sleep, causes avoidance or begins to affect work, relationships and everyday life.
You should also consider seeking support when there are frequent panic attacks, a persistent fear of losing control, traumatic memories, episodes of disconnection, substance use to manage distress or constant monitoring of bodily sensations.
In psychological treatment for anxiety , the aim is not simply to make someone relax. We examine what triggers the anxiety, which interpretations maintain it, which behaviours provide short-term relief and which changes can restore greater freedom over time.
When distress is connected with difficult or traumatic experiences, it may also be useful to understand how psychological trauma is assessed and treated .
Frequently asked questions about the butterfly hug
What is the butterfly hug for anxiety?
It is a self-regulation exercise in which you cross your arms over your chest and use gentle taps that alternate between the left and right sides. It may help some people reconnect with the present and temporarily reduce emotional activation.
How do you do the butterfly hug correctly?
Place each hand below the opposite collarbone, keep your arms crossed and tap gently from side to side. Use a comfortable rhythm, keep your eyes open if needed and pause to check how you feel.
How long should you practise it?
You can begin with rounds of 20 or 30 seconds and then pause. You do not need to continue until all anxiety has disappeared or maintain the exercise for several minutes.
Can the butterfly hug cure anxiety?
No. It may offer short-term support, but it is not a complete treatment and does not address all the causes and behavioural patterns that maintain an anxiety disorder.
Is the butterfly hug an EMDR technique?
It is connected with the bilateral stimulation used in EMDR, but practising this regulation exercise is not the same as receiving EMDR therapy. EMDR is a structured treatment involving assessment, preparation and professional delivery.
Can I use it during a panic attack?
Some people find it helpful, whereas others feel more uncomfortable. Stop if it increases distress, dizziness, disconnection or a feeling of being trapped.
Can it help me sleep?
It can form part of a brief evening routine, particularly when there is tension or repetitive thinking. However, it should not become an obligation or the only condition that allows you to sleep.
When should I seek psychological support?
Consider seeking support when anxiety is frequent, causes avoidance, affects sleep, work or relationships, leads to panic attacks or appears alongside traumatic memories, disconnection or a sense that you cannot manage it.
Scientific sources and clinical guidance
- World Health Organization. Mental Health Gap Action Programme guideline, third edition.
- NICE. Recommendations for post-traumatic stress disorder.
- Lee CW and Cuijpers P. Meta-analysis of the contribution of eye movements in processing emotional memories.
- Van den Hout MA and colleagues. Working memory, eye movements and the emotionality of aversive imagery.
Is anxiety taking up too much space in your life?
A short exercise may help during a particular moment. However, if anxiety keeps returning or is limiting your life, it may be time to understand what is maintaining it and develop a plan adapted to you.
Ocnos Psychology Clinic is based in Palmones and supports people living across the Campo de Gibraltar, including Los Barrios, Algeciras, Gibraltar and Sotogrande. Online therapy is also available when clinically appropriate.