Ocnos Psychology Clinic at Prostate Cancer Gibraltar: Héctor Lozano discusses the emotional impact of prostate cancer

Mental health is also part of living with cancer. However, for a long time, most of the attention has been placed almost entirely on diagnosis, tests, treatment and medical outcomes. All of that is essential, of course. Even so, there is another side of the experience that many people still go through quietly: the emotional weight that prostate cancer can bring, sometimes for months or even years.

Against this background, the participation of Héctor Lozano, Director of Ocnos Psychology Clinic, in an event organised by Prostate Cancer Gibraltar was especially meaningful. This was not a general talk or a purely informative intervention. Instead, it was an invitation to address an issue that the association itself had identified as important for patients and families: the lack of spaces where people can speak openly about the psychological impact of prostate cancer, fear, uncertainty and everything that is often difficult to name.

The session took place in a close and human format, with an open tone and a strong connection to the real experience of people living with this illness. Throughout the meeting, Héctor spoke about uncertainty, rumination, avoidance, communication within the couple, masculinity, sexuality and intimacy, while also stressing the importance of not reducing the cancer journey to its physical dimension alone. The aim was not to simplify suffering or offer empty slogans, but to put words to what many people feel and do not always know how to express.

A meaningful invitation from Prostate Cancer Gibraltar

The fact that Prostate Cancer Gibraltar invited Héctor Lozano to take part in this meeting is not a minor detail. In fact, it reinforces a very important idea: psychological support should not be seen as something secondary within prostate cancer care, but as a relevant part of support for patients, partners and families.

During the introduction to the meeting, the association explained that this conversation emerged in response to a repeated need over time. Several families had raised the importance of having more support in the emotional sphere, not only before or during treatment, but also afterwards, when many questions remain open and distress may continue even when the medical side is moving forward.

Because of that, Héctor’s talk was presented as a first step towards opening a wider conversation about psychology and prostate cancer. Moreover, this kind of invitation matters because it places Ocnos’ clinical work within a context of institutional trust and genuine collaboration with an association that supports men and families in Gibraltar. It is not only about visibility. Rather, it reflects the growing need to integrate psychology into settings where suffering is not always visible from the outside, yet can weigh heavily within.

Uncertainty: one of the hardest emotional burdens in prostate cancer

One of the central messages in Héctor Lozano’s intervention was that human beings do not cope well with uncertainty. For that reason, prostate cancer can produce a very particular kind of suffering. Not only because of what has already happened, but also because of everything that is still unknown: what the test results will show, how the body will respond to treatment, whether there will be recurrence, what changes may happen in intimate life, or how someone may see themselves afterwards.

In practice, this uncertainty often turns into repetitive thoughts, a constant need for reassurance and a sense of unease that does not always disappear once one stage of the medical process is over. Many people move from test to test, from result to result, from review to review, while the mind keeps revolving around the same “what ifs”. Therefore, an important part of emotional suffering does not come only from the diagnosis itself, but also from the impossibility of controlling what might happen next.

Understanding this is essential. First, because it helps to normalise part of the emotional response. Secondly, because it makes it possible to work with it more effectively. Not everything is resolved through more information or by trying to close every uncertainty by force. Sometimes, the real challenge is learning to live with a certain amount of uncertainty without allowing it to become the centre of life.

When silence and avoidance make distress worse

Another of the most valuable parts of the session was the reflection on avoidance. When someone feels overwhelmed, it is understandable that they may try to distract themselves, push certain thoughts away or act as though the problem is not there. However, this type of strategy usually offers relief only in the short term. Later on, fear often returns with greater force.

This happens because trying not to think about something rarely makes it disappear. On the contrary, the harder a person tries to block certain thoughts, the more present they often become. The same happens in relationships. When delicate issues such as fear, vulnerability or changes in intimacy are left unspoken because they feel too uncomfortable, they do not disappear; they simply stay unaddressed, and that lack of conversation can increase emotional distance.

For that reason, one of the clearest messages in Héctor’s intervention was that avoidance feeds suffering. Talking does not always solve everything immediately, but remaining silent for too long usually makes things worse. Naming what is happening, even when it is difficult, can be a first step towards an experience that feels less lonely and more shared.

Relationships, intimacy and masculinity: a necessary conversation

One of the most sensitive aspects of prostate cancer is that it affects deeply intimate areas of identity. For many men, speaking about sexuality, bodily changes, desire, erections or masculinity remains especially difficult. Precisely because of that, a great deal of the suffering connected with these issues is often carried in silence.

During his talk, Héctor Lozano approached this topic with particular care. He reminded the audience that a person is far more than one bodily function, and that intimacy cannot be reduced to performance or to a rigid idea of what it means to “remain a man”. Closeness, affection, tenderness, humour, companionship, emotional presence and connection are all part of intimacy as well. In fact, speaking about this more honestly can relieve shame, reduce pressure and open up new ways of sustaining the relationship.

This part of the discussion was especially important because it helped to challenge a harmful idea: that personal worth or masculinity depend on one single bodily dimension. Instead, the psychological perspective allowed for a broader and more humane view, one in which the person remains much more than their fear, diagnosis or physical changes.

Partners also live with their own uncertainty

The meeting did not focus only on the patient. In fact, one of the strongest ideas that emerged was that partners also go through their own emotional process. They want to help, but sometimes they do not know how. At times they become overprotective. At other times they avoid the subject for fear of saying the wrong thing. And sometimes they simply feel stuck, because they do not have a clear language for what is happening either.

This matters because prostate cancer does not affect physical health alone. It can also alter communication, daily routine, intimate life, the way people care for each other and the way a couple relates to vulnerability. For that reason, creating space for partners and families is not a minor addition, but a very real need when the aim is to offer meaningful support.

From this perspective, the talk left a valuable message: when support is directed only at the patient, an important part of the picture may remain outside the frame. Including partners in some conversations, validating their own uncertainty and helping improve communication can reduce isolation and make the process feel a little less lonely for both people.

A kinder way of relating to difficult thoughts

Another particularly useful part of Héctor’s intervention concerned the way people relate to their own thoughts. In situations of fear, it is common for very harsh internal phrases to appear: “I am not the same anymore”, “this has broken me”, “I cannot cope with this”, “my life is over”. The problem is not only that these thoughts appear, but that they can start to feel like absolute truths inside the mind.

In response to this, Héctor suggested a small but powerful shift: learning to recognise these experiences as thoughts rather than facts. For example, instead of “I am broken”, being able to say “I am having the thought that I am broken”. Although it may seem like a minor difference, that step helps to create some emotional distance and reduces fusion with especially painful internal narratives.

He also emphasised that many people speak to themselves with a level of harshness they would never use with someone they love. Therefore, reviewing internal language and learning to use less cruel words is also part of psychological work. Not in order to deny the difficulty, but to avoid adding more pain than necessary to a situation that is already challenging enough.

Ocnos Psychology Clinic and the value of psychological support in health-related processes

Héctor Lozano’s participation in Prostate Cancer Gibraltar also says something important about the way we understand psychology at Ocnos Psychology Clinic. We do not see emotional wellbeing as a decorative extra or as something secondary in comparison with other health issues. On the contrary, we understand that processes such as illness, diagnosis or significant bodily change can profoundly affect the way a person lives, thinks, relates and speaks to themselves.

For that reason, alongside work in areas such as anxiety treatment, depression, couples therapy and sex therapy, Ocnos also pays attention to the emotional suffering that appears when life brings uncertainty, vulnerability or difficult changes that are hard to integrate.

The fact that an association such as Prostate Cancer Gibraltar invited Héctor to open this type of conversation fits fully with our way of working: a psychology that is rigorous, humane, close and useful, designed for real people and for moments when the emotional impact can weigh as much as what is happening outside.

Speaking about this is also a form of care

In the end, the talk at Prostate Cancer Gibraltar left one idea very clearly in view: the emotional impact of prostate cancer is real, it matters and it deserves attention. It is not a secondary issue. It does not disappear automatically when a test ends or treatment is completed. And it should not always remain outside the conversation.

Talking about fear, uncertainty, silence, relationships, intimacy and vulnerability does not weaken anyone. In fact, many times it becomes the first step towards no longer carrying all of that alone. This is precisely where psychological support can play a valuable role: not to erase reality, but to help people carry it in a more grounded way, with more tools, more understanding and less isolation.

At Ocnos Psychology Clinic, we continue to defend that perspective. A clinical psychology that does not oversimplify suffering, that does not rely on empty phrases, and that understands that asking for help does not mean someone is doing worse. Sometimes it simply means they no longer want to go through something this heavy on their own.

Frequently asked questions about psychological support and prostate cancer