I want to kill myself or I have attempted suicide: what to do now

Written by Héctor Lozano Jiménez

General Health Psychologist · Director of Ocnos Psychology Clinic · COPAO AN 11777

20 August 2026 · Verify professional registration

If you arrived here after typing “I want to kill myself” into Google, you may be experiencing pain that currently feels impossible to carry, a sense that you cannot continue or the belief that dying is the only way to make the pain stop.

I am not going to tell you simply to “think positively”, “remember how much people love you” or promise that everything will be fine. When someone is at breaking point, those words can feel very far away from what they are actually living through.

Instead, we are going to focus on something practical: what you can do during the next few minutes and hours to become safer and reach real human support.

This guide also includes what to do after a suicide attempt, a downloadable safety plan, phrases you can copy when you cannot find the words to ask for help, and guidance for relatives and friends who are worried about someone.

I want to kill myself: what should I do right now?

During an acute suicidal crisis, your attention can become extremely narrow. The mind can start treating the pain you feel now as though it will last forever. At the same time, options that might normally be visible can become much harder to see.

You do not need to prove to yourself that everything will improve. For now, focus on three things: time, safety and connection.

If you can only think about the next five minutes

When the future feels unbearable, making a plan for tomorrow can be too much. Reduce the time frame.

I have attempted suicide: what should I do now?

If you have just made a suicide attempt, you need urgent medical assessment. This remains important even if you now regret what happened, feel calmer, believe it “was not serious enough” or currently feel physically well.

After an attempt, people can experience very different emotions: fear, shame, confusion, relief at having survived, guilt, emotional numbness or continuing suicidal thoughts.

There is no single “correct” way to feel afterwards. Whatever you are experiencing, it is important that the healthcare professionals looking after you know about it.

A safety plan for suicidal thoughts

A safety plan is a personal guide that helps you know what to do when you notice that your risk is increasing.

It is not a contract and it is not a promise that you will never harm yourself. It gives you practical steps to follow when clear thinking becomes much harder.

How to ask for help when you cannot find the words

From the outside, asking for help can sound simple. During a suicidal crisis, forming a sentence can feel remarkably difficult.

You do not have to explain everything. You can copy one of these messages exactly as it is.

Psychological tools for getting through the most intense part of the crisis

These tools are not a reason to manage suicidal thoughts on your own. They are ways of creating a little time and psychological space while help arrives or while you remain with another person.

Choose the next safer action, not the perfect solution

When everything feels impossible, shrink the horizon. You do not need to solve a relationship, your job, financial problems, grief or your entire mental health tonight.

Ask yourself: “What is the next action that makes me slightly safer?”

It might be opening the door, leaving the room, sitting beside somebody, making one phone call or handing your phone to another person and asking them to call for you.

Change “this is true” into “I am having the thought that...”

If your mind says “there is no way out”, try wording it like this: “I am having the thought that there is no way out.”

You are not trying to force yourself to believe the opposite. The wording simply creates a little distance between you and what your mind is saying. A thought can feel intensely convincing without becoming an instruction you must follow.

Bring your attention back to the room you are in

Once you are accompanied and there is no immediate danger, you may find it helpful to deliberately notice concrete details: your feet against the floor, objects in the room, the temperature of the air or sounds around you.

Héctor has also recorded a guided grounding audio to help you return to the present . Use it only as an additional support. It does not replace contacting urgent help when there is a risk of suicide.

“They would be better off without me”: when your mind tells you that you are a burden

During a suicidal crisis, you may become convinced that other people would be better off without you, that you have disappointed everybody or that asking for help will only create more problems.

You do not have to win an argument with those thoughts right now. You can notice something simpler:

You also do not need to feel completely certain that you want to live before you allow somebody to help you.

You can be unsure about the future and still allow another person to help you get through tonight.

What to do if someone you care about says they want to die

Hearing somebody say that they want to kill themselves can be frightening. Your first instinct may be to convince them that they should not feel that way.

Helping, however, is not about winning an argument.

You can ask directly: “Are you thinking about suicide?”

Asking directly about suicide does not put the idea into somebody's head. It can make it easier for them to stop hiding what is happening and allow you to help with safety.

Try to avoid responses such as: “Don't be silly”, “think about your family”, “you have so much to live for”, “other people have it worse” or “promise me you won't do anything”.

These responses can increase shame or make the person less likely to continue talking.

If there is immediate danger

Stay with the person. Bring in other trusted adults where appropriate, make the environment safer and contact the emergency service for the country you are in.

Do not turn the situation into a secret that you have to manage alone.

Stay in contact after the immediate crisis

Support does not end simply because the intensity falls. Checking in the following day, helping the person attend appointments, looking at the safety plan together or simply keeping contact can all matter.

If you are supporting a teenager who is also self-harming, you may find our guide for parents about self-harm in teenagers useful.

After a suicidal crisis: what happens next?

Surviving a crisis does not mean that you have to return to normal immediately. It also does not mean that the underlying problem has disappeared simply because suicidal thoughts have eased for a few hours or days.

What comes afterwards may involve understanding what was happening before the crisis, identifying your own warning signs and vulnerabilities, treating psychological or medical difficulties, strengthening support and preparing for what to do if suicidal thoughts return.

Suicidal thoughts can occur in many different circumstances. You do not need to know your diagnosis or fully understand why this is happening before you are entitled to professional help.

If you are also experiencing persistent low mood, loss of interest, hopelessness or other depressive symptoms, you can read more about depression and psychological treatment .

When to seek psychological help after a suicidal crisis

If the immediate danger has passed but suicidal thoughts keep returning, you have recently experienced a crisis or attempt, or you feel that you have fewer and fewer ways of coping, professional follow-up is important.

At Ocnos Psychology Clinic we can provide psychological assessment and work with you on the factors contributing to your distress, within the limits of an outpatient psychology service.

Once the immediate situation is stable, you can learn more about Héctor Lozano Jiménez , book a psychology appointment or read about online therapy .

Frequently asked questions about suicidal thoughts

Suicide and mental health crisis contacts: Spain, Gibraltar and the UK

Use the services for the place where you are physically located. This is particularly important for British residents or visitors living between Gibraltar and the Campo de Gibraltar.

Spain

Gibraltar

United Kingdom

Clinical notice: This article provides psychoeducational information and does not replace individual medical, psychiatric or psychological assessment. Ocnos Psychology Clinic is not an emergency or crisis service. If you are in immediate danger or have made a suicide attempt, seek urgent medical attention.